It’s Not You, It’s Them
It’s Not You, It’s Them
📝 By Angel, Founder of AMC Rise and Thrive
Hello beautiful soul 💛
I’m really glad you’re here today.
Not in a casual, passing way — but in the way that recognizes
how much courage it sometimes takes just to keep showing up in a world that
often misunderstands gentle hearts and strong spirits. If you’ve arrived here
feeling blamed, confused, tired of explaining yourself, or quietly questioning
your own goodness… let me begin by saying this softly and clearly:
It’s not always your fault.
Sometimes… it truly is their problem.
Let me speak that again for the people in the back — and for
the tender places in the front of your heart:
It’s not always you.
Sometimes it’s someone else projecting their chaos onto you
because they don’t know how to sit with their own.
You have the right to dismiss people like this from your life
without guilt.
One important lesson I learned a long time ago is this:
You can’t make anyone change.
They must choose it.
And then they must do the work.
You can inspire.
You can encourage.
You can model growth.
But you cannot drag someone into healing who refuses to walk
toward it themselves.
When Blame Finds the Softest Place to Land
The song “You Problem” by Cloudy Jane & Emlyn hit
me in a way I wasn’t expecting. It’s written as a relationship song, but to me,
it applies to so much more than romance.
Not because it was dramatic.
Not because it was loud.
But because it was honest.
We’ve all been there.
Caught in someone else’s emotional storm.
Trying to help someone who refuses to help themselves.
Standing in the middle of their unresolved wounds.
Trying to understand what we did wrong…
When in reality, they were just spiraling — and needed
somewhere to place the weight of their mess.
And that place became you.
If you’ve ever been blamed for someone else’s immaturity…
If you’ve ever been accused for someone else’s behavior…
If you’ve ever been made to feel responsible for another person’s inability to
heal…
This message is for you.
Not to harden your heart.
Not to make you bitter.
But to help you see clearly.
Because clarity is kindness to yourself.
🧨 Karma
Isn’t Cruel — It’s Honest
Let’s talk about karma for a moment — not in a mystical,
scary, dramatic way — but in its simplest truth.
Karma is not a monster.
Karma is balance.
It is the echo of what we send into the world.
So, when people act shocked that life feels heavy after years
of stirring the pot, playing games, manipulating narratives, and refusing
accountability — that’s not punishment.
That’s alignment.
“Karma is only a b*tch if you are.”
Some people don’t like that truth because it removes their
victim costume.
And the reality is, some people live on chaos.
They need drama to feel alive.
They need conflict to feel important.
They need attention — even if it’s negative — to feel seen.
They stir the waters…
Then complain they’re drowning.
They gossip…
Then cry when no one trusts them.
They manipulate…
Then call everyone else fake.
And when consequences arrive, they don’t look inward.
They look for someone to blame.
And often, they choose the one who is kind.
The one who is honest.
The one who reflects their truth without trying.
You.
But listen closely:
Their consequences are not your responsibility.
You don’t need to rescue people from the outcomes of their own
choices.
You don’t need to soften reality so they don’t have to face
it.
You don’t need to sacrifice your peace so they can avoid
accountability.
🧠 Damaged
People Don’t Always Want to Heal
Let me say this with compassion and clarity:
Not everyone who is wounded wants to heal.
Some people are more attached to their pain than they are to
their growth.
Some people would rather be right than free.
Some people would rather be seen as victims than take accountability.
And hurt people don’t always want healing — sometimes they
want witnesses to their suffering.
Life has taught me a few gentle but powerful truths:
• Hurt people do hurt people.
• Some people are more interested in attention than accountability — or are too
lazy to do the work to be better.
• Some people are not ready to change.
• And some people will twist the story until you look like the villain — just
so they never have to face themselves.
They may have been enabled.
They may have been excused.
They may have been protected from consequences.
But you are not required to continue that cycle.
Your energy is sacred.
Not everyone deserves access to it.
Not everyone who is hurting deserves a front-row seat to your peace.
You can have compassion without participation.
You can have empathy without entanglement.
You can love from a distance.
Because protecting your spirit is not cruelty — it is
stewardship.
👀 Loving
with Awareness, Not Illusion
I’m a realist.
I don’t walk around pretending people are perfect.
I see the flaws in people I love.
I see the manipulation, the half-truths, the contradictions, the patterns.
And I still choose to love them — until they make it clear
they are not interested in evolving.
Then I don’t argue.
I don’t chase.
I don’t beg for understanding.
I step back. I avoid the toxicity.
Because healing doesn’t mean keeping every connection.
It means honoring which ones nurture your growth — and which
ones quietly drain your light.
Some people are not meant to walk every season with you. And
that is okay.
Not because you failed.
Not because you are unlovable.
But because growth changes your capacity.
And when you start choosing peace, not everyone will recognize
you anymore.
That’s okay.
You are allowed to outgrow chaos.
You are allowed to choose stability over familiarity.
You are allowed to choose peace over performance.
You are allowed to choose clarity over confusion.
✨ Their
Insecurities Are Not Your Responsibility
You do not have to absorb their projections.
You do not have to accept their blame.
You do not have to engage in their chaos.
You do not need to enable their unproductive behavior.
Sometimes the most powerful sentence you will ever say is:
“That sounds like a you problem.”
Not with cruelty.
Not with pride.
But with clarity.
Because not everything deserves your energy.
Not every accusation deserves your defense.
Not every misunderstanding deserves your explanation.
Not every person deserves access to your heart.
Sometimes silence is wisdom.
Sometimes distance is protection.
Sometimes peace is the answer.
📖 Bible
Verse
“Do not be misled: ‘Bad company corrupts good
character.’”
— 1 Corinthians 15:33 (NIV)
You can love someone and still recognize they are not good for
your peace.
You can pray for someone and still choose boundaries.
Discernment is not judgment — it is wisdom.
It isn’t your job to fix anyone but yourself. Release that
responsibility.
God never asked you to carry other people’s unwillingness to
change.
He asked you to walk in truth, humility, and growth.
And sometimes the most faithful thing you can do is step away
from what is damaging your spirit.
💬
Affirmations
Let these settle gently into your spirit:
• I protect my peace unapologetically.
• I release the need to fix people who refuse to grow.
• I see clearly and respond with wisdom.
• I do not carry problems that don’t belong to me.
• Their chaos is not mine to manage.
🎶 Song of
the Day
“You Problem” — Cloudy Jane & Emlyn
🎧
Listen and reflect
Lyric:
“Careful of the ones who claim they changed
Come in hot with all the same old takes
Swear it’s so unfair to you, well babe
If you're looking for someone to blame
That sounds like a you problem
Karma's coming through problem
Getting comfy playing out the victim, what a change (Sounds like a you problem)
(Change)
Ooh, got 'em, now you're in my shoes problem
Breaking hearts and pointing fingers
But your only true problem is a y-y-you problem”
This song is the perfect anthem for every moment someone tried
to flip the blame.
It’s not aggressive.
It’s not cruel.
It’s simply honest.
It reminds us that we are not emotional dumping grounds for
people who refuse to own their wounds.
As you listen, let it remind you:
You are allowed to step out of someone else’s
storm.
🌟 Final
Thoughts: Truth Always Finds the Light
At the end of the day…
You cannot control who someone chooses to be.
You can only choose how close you let them stand.
If they want to twist the story…
Play victim…
Stir chaos…
Surround themselves with people who enable the mess…
That is not your burden to carry.
That is their lesson to face.
You are not here to be drained.
You are not here to be blamed.
You are not here to carry what was never yours.
You are here to rise.
To heal.
To thrive.
And that kind of growth?
Not everyone will understand it.
But you do not need their permission to continue becoming who
you are.
With peace, clarity, and quiet strength,
Angel
Founder of AMC Rise and Thrive
If this message has resonated, please share it — and visit the
archive for a message that may be waiting for you. Trust divine timing. We
can’t rush what’s on its way to us. We can only stay open, receptive, and ready
for the blessings meant for us.
Many blessings to all who read this.
May you feel seen, supported, and deeply loved.
You are not meant to be used by someone ungrateful and unwilling to grow.
#ItsNotYouItsThem #ProtectYourPeace #EmotionalMaturity
#HealingBoundaries #AMCRiseAndThrive #Photolab
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