It's Okay Not to Have It All Together: My Journey Through Perimenopause
It's Okay Not to Have It All Together: My Journey Through Perimenopause 🌙💜
By Angel, Founder of AMC Rise and
Thrive
Hello Beautiful Souls,
I want to sit down with you today and have one of those honest
conversations that doesn't always make it into the polished highlight reel of
life.
The truth is, lately I have been tired.
Not just the kind of tired that comes from a busy week or a
late night. I mean the deep kind of exhaustion that settles into your bones and
follows you throughout the day. The kind that makes your patience shorter, your
emotions bigger, and your ability to handle life's little annoyances feel
almost nonexistent.
I've been struggling with sleep.
I've been feeling irritable.
I've been feeling emotionally stretched thin.
And if I'm being completely honest, there have been moments
when I've wanted to tell the world to leave me alone before I accidentally say
something I'll regret.
The reason?
Perimenopause.
It's not exactly the most glamorous topic, but it is a very
real part of life for millions of women, and I think it's important that we
talk about it openly.
Because one of the biggest lies we tell ourselves is that we
should always have everything together.
We shouldn't.
We're human.
And sometimes our bodies remind us of that in ways we never
expected.
When Your Body Begins a New Chapter 🌿
Perimenopause is the transition leading up to menopause.
During this season of life, the ovaries gradually begin producing less estrogen
and progesterone. For many women, it begins sometime in their forties, although
it can start earlier, and it may last several years before menopause officially
arrives.
As hormone levels fluctuate, the body can experience a wide
range of physical and emotional changes.
Some women notice changes in their menstrual cycles. Others
experience hot flashes, night sweats, mood swings, anxiety, brain fog, sleep
disturbances, weight changes, or shifts in libido.
Every woman's journey looks different.
What makes my experience unique is that I had a hysterectomy
in 2020.
I still have my ovaries, but I no longer have a monthly cycle
to track what my hormones are doing. There are no calendar reminders from my
body anymore. No predictable signs.
Instead, my hormones seem to be running their own mysterious
operation behind the scenes.
My symptoms first began showing up in 2024. At the time, I
started taking black cohosh and ashwagandha before bed. Thankfully, those
supplements seemed to help quite a bit.
For a while, things felt manageable.
Then the last few weeks happened.
My internal thermostat appears to have resigned from its
position.
I don't really experience daytime hot flashes, but nighttime
is a completely different story.
The night sweats have arrived.
And they are absolutely interfering with one of the things I
value most: sleep.
Now listen, I know there are people who can function
beautifully on four or five hours of sleep.
I am not one of those people.
I need eight to ten hours to truly feel rested.
Even before all of this, getting enough sleep felt like a
challenge. Life has a way of demanding more than we have to give sometimes.
Between responsibilities, caregiving, work, stress, and simply being human,
restful sleep can already feel elusive.
Now imagine adding night sweats and hormone fluctuations to
the mix.
It's like trying to refill a cup while someone keeps poking
holes in the bottom.
No wonder I've been struggling.
No wonder I've been exhausted.
No wonder I've been feeling unlike myself.
The Emotional Side Nobody Talks About 💜
One thing I've learned during this season is that hormonal
changes don't just affect the body.
They affect the heart.
The mind.
The emotions.
The nervous system.
Sometimes I wake up already feeling irritated.
Sometimes small inconveniences feel much bigger than they
actually are.
Sometimes I know logically that something shouldn't bother me,
but emotionally it feels overwhelming anyway.
And that's frustrating.
Because when you're a person who values growth,
self-awareness, and spiritual development, it can be easy to judge yourself
when you're not showing up as your best self.
You start asking questions like:
"Why am I so emotional?"
"Why am I so irritated?"
"Why can't I just get it together?"
But here's what I'm slowly learning.
Not every struggle is a spiritual failure.
Not every emotional reaction means you're doing something
wrong.
Sometimes your body is simply moving through a transition.
Sometimes your hormones are changing.
Sometimes your nervous system is working overtime.
Sometimes you're carrying more than anyone realizes.
And sometimes the most compassionate thing you can do is stop
fighting yourself.
There is a difference between accountability and
self-condemnation.
We should absolutely continue growing and healing.
But we also need to extend grace to ourselves.
God never asked us to be machines.
He created us as living, breathing human beings.
Bodies change.
Seasons change.
Energy changes.
Life changes.
And none of those changes make us less worthy of love.
It's Okay Not to Be Okay 🌙
As I reflected on all of this, the song that kept coming to
mind was "OK Not To Be OK" by Marshmello and Demi Lovato.
The message is simple but powerful.
It's okay not to be okay.
Those words may sound obvious, but many of us live as though
they're not true.
We feel pressure to stay strong.
Pressure to stay positive.
Pressure to hold everything together.
Pressure to keep smiling even when we're struggling.
Yet the heart of this song reminds us that being human means
experiencing difficult emotions.
Sometimes you're overwhelmed.
Sometimes you're exhausted.
Sometimes you're discouraged.
Sometimes you're emotionally worn out.
Sometimes you're so drained you don't even know how to pray.
I think that's the line that speaks to me most.
Because there are seasons when life feels so heavy that even
forming words becomes difficult.
But God understands those moments too.
The beautiful truth is that we don't have to earn God's love
by being emotionally perfect.
We don't have to pretend we're okay when we're not.
We don't have to hide our struggles from the One who already
knows them.
God sees every sleepless night.
Every frustrated tear.
Every anxious thought.
Every exhausted morning.
Every moment when you're simply trying to make it through the
day.
And His love remains constant through all of it.
There is tremendous freedom in allowing yourself to be human.
There is healing in admitting that you're struggling.
There is strength in saying, "This season is hard."
Because healing cannot begin where honesty does not exist.
The more we allow ourselves to acknowledge what we're
experiencing, the more space we create for grace.
Giving Yourself Permission to Rest 🌸
One lesson this season keeps teaching me is that rest is not a
reward.
It's a necessity.
For years many of us have been taught that productivity equals
worth.
If we're busy, we're valuable.
If we're accomplishing things, we're successful.
If we're constantly pushing, we're strong.
But eventually our bodies start speaking up.
Sometimes they whisper.
Sometimes they shout.
And sometimes they drag us into a season where we have no
choice but to listen.
I've had to learn that resting isn't weakness.
It's wisdom.
Taking care of ourselves isn't selfish.
It's stewardship.
Honoring our physical needs isn't a lack of faith.
It's recognizing that God created our bodies with limitations
for a reason.
If you're walking through perimenopause, menopause, chronic
illness, caregiving burnout, grief, stress, or any other challenging season,
please hear this:
You do not need to have everything figured out.
You do not need to perform strength.
You do not need to meet impossible expectations.
You are allowed to slow down.
You are allowed to rest.
You are allowed to ask for help.
You are allowed to honor what your body is telling you.
And most importantly, you are allowed to be a work in
progress.
Because all of us are.
Affirmations ✨
💜 I give
myself permission to move through this season with grace.
💜 My worth
is not determined by my productivity.
💜 I honor
my body's changing needs with compassion and care.
💜 God's
strength supports me when I feel weary.
💜 It is
okay to be human, and it is okay to need rest.
Scripture for Reflection 📖
"Every good and perfect gift is from above,
coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like
shifting shadows." James 1:17 (NIV)
Perimenopause can feel like a season of constant fluctuation.
One day you feel like yourself, and the next day you're wondering where your
patience, energy, or focus disappeared to. Hormones shift. Sleep patterns
change. Emotions can seem to come from nowhere.
In the middle of all that uncertainty, this verse offers a
beautiful reminder: while life changes, God does not.
Our bodies may move through different seasons. Our energy may
rise and fall. Our emotions may feel unpredictable at times. But the Father
remains constant. His love does not fluctuate with our moods. His grace is not
dependent on how productive we were today. His presence does not disappear when
we feel overwhelmed.
When everything feels like it's shifting beneath your feet,
hold on to the One who never changes.
God is the steady light in every season, the constant source
of strength when our own feels depleted, and the faithful reminder that even in
seasons we didn't choose, we are still deeply loved.
🎵 Song of
the Day
"OK Not To Be OK" by Marshmello &
Demi Lovato
This song feels like a gentle reminder that struggling doesn't
mean failing.
The message encourages us to remember that difficult emotions
are part of the human experience. There will be days when we're overwhelmed,
discouraged, exhausted, or simply not ourselves. That doesn't mean we're
broken. It means we're human.
For anyone navigating a difficult season—whether that's
perimenopause, grief, stress, burnout, or uncertainty—I hope this song reminds
you that you don't have to carry everything alone.
Sometimes the most healing words we can hear are:
It's okay not to be okay.
Take a few moments today to listen, breathe, and offer
yourself the same compassion you would give someone you love.
Final Thoughts 🌙
If you're in a season where your body feels unfamiliar, your
emotions feel unpredictable, or you're simply exhausted from trying to keep up
with life, I want you to know you're not alone.
I'm walking through it too.
Some days are easier than others.
Some nights are better than others.
But we keep moving forward one day at a time.
One prayer at a time.
One deep breath at a time.
And through it all, God's grace continues to meet us exactly
where we are.
You don't have to have it all together.
You don't have to be perfect.
You don't have to pretend.
You are loved right here, right now, in the middle of your
very human journey.
Keep rising.
Keep healing.
Keep trusting.
Better days are still ahead. 💜
With love and light,
Angel
AMC Rise and Thrive ✨
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If these words touched your heart, consider sharing them with
someone who may need encouragement today. You can also explore the archive for
additional reflections waiting to meet you exactly where you are.
Life unfolds in seasons, and God's timing is always
purposeful. While we may wish to rush the process, our role is simply to remain
open, faithful, and receptive to what He is gently unfolding before us.
Trust the journey.
Trust the timing.
Trust the One guiding both.
#AMCRiseAndThrive #PerimenopauseJourney
#FaithOverFear #RestAndHealing #ItsOkayNotToBeOkay
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