Closed Mouths Don’t Get Fed: Sometimes You Have to Ask
Closed Mouths Don’t Get Fed: Sometimes You Have to Ask
By Angel, Founder of AMC Rise and Thrive
🌅 Welcome,
Friend
Come on in and sit with me for a minute.
Today we're talking about something a grandmother could
probably have said in about five seconds:
Closed mouths don't get fed.
And honestly, there is a lot of truth packed into those five
words.
Sometimes you have to open your mouth and ask for what you
need.
Not demand it.
Not expect somebody to magically know what you want.
Not become entitled about it.
Just... ask.
Because sometimes the thing you're hoping for is actually
possible, but nobody knows you need it because you haven't said anything.
And here's the part we don't always like:
Sometimes we're waiting for an answer that we never actually
asked the question to receive.
Whew.
That one can step on some toes.
Mine included. 😂
So today, let's talk about what happens when we stop assuming
the answer is no and start giving ourselves permission to ask.
💛
Sometimes We Decide the Answer Before We Ask
Have you ever wanted something but talked yourself out of
asking for it?
Maybe you needed help.
Maybe you wanted someone to explain something.
Maybe you wanted an opportunity.
Maybe you needed a favor.
Maybe you wanted to speak up about something that wasn't
working.
And instead of asking, you thought:
They'll probably say no.
I don't want to bother them.
They might think I'm being difficult.
They should already know.
I can probably figure it out myself.
So, you said nothing.
And nothing happened.
Then we sometimes turn around and feel disappointed because we
didn't get what we needed.
But how could the other person know?
This is one of those lessons that sounds obvious until we
realize how often we do it.
We expect people to read our minds.
We expect others to recognize our needs without us expressing
them.
We assume an opportunity isn't available before we ever ask
about it.
We decide someone won't help before giving them the chance to
say whether they can.
And sometimes that comes from fear.
Sometimes it comes from pride.
Sometimes it comes from not wanting to hear no.
Because let's be honest: no doesn't always feel good.
But hearing no isn't the same thing as losing something.
If you never ask, you've already made the decision for
yourself.
And that is what I want us to think about today.
🌱 Why
Asking Can Feel So Difficult
There is a vulnerability that comes with asking.
When you ask for something, you are putting a little piece of
yourself out there.
You are saying, This is something I need.
This would help me.
This matters to me.
And then you have to wait for the response.
That can make people uncomfortable.
Especially if you've experienced rejection before.
Maybe you've asked for help and been turned down.
Maybe you have spoken up in the past and felt dismissed.
Maybe you were taught that asking for things was somehow
bothering people.
Or maybe you've simply become accustomed to doing everything
yourself.
Independence can be a wonderful quality.
But there is a difference between being independent and
believing you must never need anyone.
We are human beings.
We need one another.
There are seasons when we give.
There are seasons when we receive.
There are moments when we have the answer.
There are moments when somebody else has the answer.
And sometimes the most resourceful thing we can do is admit:
“I don't know. Let me ask.”
Asking isn't weakness.
It can actually require courage.
Because you have to be willing to hear whatever comes next.
And that brings us to an important part of this lesson:
You can ask without being guaranteed a yes.
That is the difference between asking and demanding.
When you demand something, you have already decided that
someone owes you the answer you want.
When you ask, you leave room for another person's choice.
And that matters.
🌿 A Little
Story About Asking
So let me tell you what happened in my yard.
We had tree trimmers in the neighborhood working around the
power lines. I have two massive oak trees on my property, and one of them
needed to be trimmed back from the lines.
The guy explained what they were going to do, and honestly?
I didn't really see his vision. 😂
But they were doing the work for free and cleaning up the
debris.
And as far as I'm concerned, free99 is always good in my
book.
Once they got started, I realized just how much work this was
going to be.
There were eight workers, and three of them had to get up into
the tree to work on cutting everything back.
These are massive oak trees, and oak branches are no joke.
They are strong.
I actually laughed a little because we've lived here for more
than fifteen years, and I have watched plenty of men discover that these trees
are not exactly interested in making their jobs easy.
They worked for more than four hours.
They had a wood chipper sitting out front.
And that's when I looked at the three massive piles of
branches sitting in my yard.
Those branches had been accumulating for a while.
With all the storms we've had, we had more fallen limbs than
usual. Normally, we burn them.
But between the rain and the wet wood, burning them wasn't
exactly happening anytime soon.
I had already had those piles on my mental to-do list.
You know that list.
The one that says:
I need to get to that.
I'll do it when the weather cools down.
I'll handle it this weekend.
Eventually.
Well, eventually had apparently arrived.
I looked at that wood chipper.
And I thought:
I wonder...
So, I asked.
I asked the guy if I could use the wood chipper for the piles
in my yard.
He asked what for.
I pointed toward the enormous collection of branches.
He thought about it for a moment.
Then he said yes.
That's it.
One question.
Yes.
So, I went inside, changed my clothes, grabbed my folding
wagon, and got to work.
And before anybody thinks I was operating somebody else's
heavy machinery, let me stop you right there. 😂
I was not.
I wasn't touching their equipment.
They were already doing me a huge favor by allowing me to take
advantage of something they were already using.
My job was simply to move the piles to the curb.
So, I filled up my little wagon, rolled it to the curb, dumped
it, and went back for another load.
And another.
And another.
What could have taken us hours to burn was suddenly something
we could get off the property without spending a dime.
All because I asked.
✨ What If
the Opportunity Is Waiting on the Question?
That experience made me think about how often we assume
something isn't available simply because we haven't asked.
What if the answer isn't no?
What if the answer is:
“Let me see what I can do.”
“Sure.”
“Actually, we can help with that.”
“I know someone who can help.”
“That's possible.”
Or maybe the answer really is no.
That's okay too.
Because the purpose of asking isn't to manipulate someone into
giving you what you want.
The purpose is to give the possibility a chance to exist.
That is an important distinction.
We cannot control somebody else's answer.
But we can control whether we give ourselves permission to ask
the question.
And spiritually, I think there is something beautiful about
that.
How many times do we pray but don't actually expect anything
to change?
How many times do we tell God what we need but then
immediately decide it is impossible?
How often do we say, “I wish I could...” without ever
taking the first step toward finding out whether we can?
Maybe sometimes faith looks like asking.
Not because we believe God is a vending machine where we put
in a prayer and receive exactly what we requested.
But because asking opens our hearts to possibility.
It says:
“I don't know how this is going to work, but I'm
willing to find out.”
What if the answer comes differently than you imagined?
What if the help comes from somewhere you weren't expecting?
What if the opportunity doesn't look like the picture you had
in your head?
What if God is teaching you that you don't always have to
figure everything out alone?
Sometimes the blessing isn't the exact thing we asked for.
Sometimes the blessing is discovering that another possibility
existed all along.
🚶 Walking
Forward: Ask, Don't Demand
So how do we actually practice this?
Start small.
If you need clarification, ask.
If you need help, ask.
If you don't understand something, ask.
If an opportunity interests you, ask whether it is available.
If you need someone to meet you halfway, communicate that.
If there is something you would genuinely like to have, don't
automatically assume the answer is no.
But there are a few things to remember.
1. Ask respectfully.
Your need does not automatically become another person's
obligation.
A respectful question leaves room for the other person to
answer honestly.
2. Be prepared for no.
This is important.
A no does not mean you were wrong to ask.
It simply means the answer was no.
Maybe the timing isn't right.
Maybe they can't help.
Maybe the opportunity isn't available.
Maybe there is another reason.
You don't have to turn every no into rejection of your worth.
3. Don't confuse asking with demanding.
There is a huge difference between:
“Would you be willing to help me with this?”
and
“You need to help me with this.”
One invites cooperation.
The other creates pressure.
4. Don't be afraid to advocate for yourself.
There are moments when speaking up is necessary.
At work.
In relationships.
With service providers.
In your family.
When something affects your well-being.
Silence doesn't always create peace.
Sometimes silence simply allows a problem to continue.
5. Ask God for wisdom about what to ask for.
Not everything we want is something we need.
Sometimes we need discernment before we need an answer.
Ask yourself:
Why do I want this?
Would this genuinely help me?
Am I asking from fear, entitlement, desperation,
or wisdom?
That pause can make a huge difference.
Because the goal isn't to become somebody who asks for
everything.
The goal is to become somebody who isn't afraid to speak
when speaking is necessary.
❤️ Gentle
Reflection
Take a quiet moment today and sit with these questions:
- Where
in my life have I been assuming the answer is no without actually asking?
- Is
there something I need help with that I've been trying to handle
completely on my own?
- What
makes it difficult for me to ask for what I need?
- Can
I become more comfortable hearing “no” without taking it personally?
- Where
might God be inviting me to speak up, advocate for myself, or simply ask a
question?
Take these questions into prayer.
You don't have to force an answer.
Just become willing to listen.
🙏
Affirmations
I am worthy of asking for what I need.
I can speak up with courage and respect.
A “no” does not diminish my worth.
I remain open to unexpected possibilities.
I trust God to guide my words and my steps.
📖
Scripture Reflection
James 1:5 (KJV)
“If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God,
that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given
him.”
I love that this verse reminds us that asking is part of
faith.
We are not expected to know everything.
We are not expected to have every answer.
We are allowed to ask.
And notice what we're encouraged to ask for first: wisdom.
That matters.
Because sometimes we are so focused on asking God to change
the situation that we forget to ask Him to show us how to walk through it.
Give me wisdom.
Show me what to say.
Show me when to speak.
Show me when to wait.
Show me what belongs in my hands and what doesn't.
That kind of prayer can change the way we approach life.
Before you ask the world for an answer, ask God for the wisdom
to know what question needs to be asked.
🎵 Song of
the Day
🎵 “Brave”
— Sara Bareilles
Today's song fits the heart of this message because there are
times when we have to find the courage to use our voice.
Not because we need to be the loudest person in the room.
Not because every thought needs to be spoken.
And certainly not because we should demand that everyone agree
with us.
Sometimes courage is much quieter than that.
Sometimes courage is simply saying:
“I need help.”
“I have a question.”
“I would like to try this.”
“This isn't working for me.”
“Would you be willing to help?”
Using your voice can feel vulnerable, especially when you're
accustomed to keeping things to yourself.
But your voice has purpose.
Your needs matter.
Your questions matter.
And sometimes the first step toward something changing is
simply being willing to say something.
So listen to the song today and think about where you may need
a little more courage to speak.
Not recklessly.
Not aggressively.
But honestly.
Let your words come from wisdom, humility, and self-respect.
You don't have to shout to be heard.
Sometimes you just have to open your mouth. 🤍
🌼 Final
Thoughts
Closed mouths don't get fed.
It's an old saying, but sometimes old wisdom sticks around
because there is truth in it.
If you need something, ask.
If you don't understand, ask.
If you need help, ask.
If an opportunity is available, find out.
And if the answer is no?
Keep moving.
A no is not the end of your story.
It may simply mean that particular door wasn't yours to walk
through.
The beautiful thing about asking is that you stop living
inside assumptions.
You stop deciding what other people will say before they have
spoken.
You stop automatically telling yourself that something is
impossible.
You become willing to discover what is actually available to
you.
And sometimes, like with my piles of branches, you may be
pleasantly surprised.
All it took was a question.
So don't demand.
Don't manipulate.
Don't feel entitled.
Just ask.
Ask with humility.
Ask with courage.
Ask with wisdom.
And then trust God with the answer.
You might hear yes.
You might hear no.
You might hear “not right now.”
You might discover another option you hadn't considered.
Whatever happens, you will have something you didn't have
before:
an answer.
And sometimes that is where movement begins.
May God give you the courage to use your voice, the wisdom to
know when to speak, the humility to accept an answer you may not have expected,
and the faith to trust that one closed door does not mean every door is closed.
Keep asking.
Keep listening.
Keep walking.
And don't forget that sometimes the blessing begins with
something as simple as:
“Hey, can I ask you a question?” 🤍
With love and gratitude,
Angel 🤍
AMC Rise and Thrive
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